Thursday, October 16, 2008

Confessions of an Undecided Voter - It's all about the SWAG



   AP - Chicago
   In a campaign year where everyone seems to have an opinion about McCain and Obama, there are those, the mysterious few, the "undecided voters", who claim the spotlight. They appear at every debate and town hall. They are courted by the media and they are, in each election cycle, a sought-after demographic, unwilling as any prick-tease virgin, to actually put out.
   Policywanker has met with several of these refuse-niks to understand what makes them tick - and the answer became very clear... goodie bags.
Sarah McFee, a registered "independent" from Des Moines explained her perpetual undecidedness as a quadrennial phenomenon. "I get all this great shit from the campaigns sent to my house. And the media, they're always taking me to dinner or drinks. I love it."
   Another "independent", Patty Dumond, says she has misgivings about both candidates, but her vote is a valuable asset. "And I ain't giving nothing away. You want it, you gotta pay."
Asked about who won the final presidential debate, Dumond remained cagey, "I haven't quite made up my mind - but I would like some lunch now."

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