"Free at last!" Lynne Cheney Gets Tattooed and Pierced

  AP - Washington

   In happy anticipation of her impending freedom from the conservative mores of capitol society and the prying eyes of the media, Lynne Cheney, wife of the evildoing future ex-Vice-President Dick Cheney, has gotten fully tattooed and is sporting a number of vaginal piercings.

   "My daughter is a stick compared to me." Mrs. Cheney reported to a close anonymous source, "I've had to be cool. But that's all over, baby."

   Lynne Cheney courted controversy early in her husband's White House career when her first novel surfaced. It featured woman on woman sex. She has since refused to comment on its purported biographical content.

   But certainly, she is coming into her own and looks forward to being a free spirit again.

She is reported to having told a friend, "I will shit on the kitchen table if I feel like, man."