AP - Washington D.C.
New data compiled by the US Department of Census indicates registered Democrats have a higher mortality rate than Republicans.
"It's only a matter of time," crowed RNC chairman Michael Steele at yesterday's hastily called press conference. "It's a catch-up game and we're in it for the long haul."
According to the data, urban populations show higher numbers of the population dying per capita. And since those populations register in much higher numbers as Democratic voters, the statistics indicate a direct correlation to more dead Democrats.
Reasons for urban death vary, but include homicides, drug and alcohol related incidents, heart attacks and stroke.
Which caused Steele to ponder future political victories, "It's in the numbers, people, we're coming back!"
When asked for comment, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel was unconcerned about the data. "Mike Steele can kiss my hairy ass. I'm from Chicago, we have no problem with dead Democrats voting. It's their right as Americans."
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