And a child shall lead them... them, being the RNC
AP - Washington D.C.
Speaking to a desperate crowd of whinging Republicans at Friday's CPAC (Conservative Pricks and Cunts) meeting in the nation's capitol, 13 year-old Jonathan Krohn did not disappoint those gathered to hear political platitudes from the mouths of babes.
"Conservatism is not about the party," Krohn explained, "...cuz it's more like the soft, chewy filling inside the crusty old hardened shell of Republicanism."
The pundit without pubic hair went on to outline the four principles of Conservatism to an enraptured audience, "First, respect for the Constitution - except when it's drag. Next, respect for life - except when invading a brown country. Then, less government, except when lobbying for money. And finally personal responsibility, especially those poor people."
Krohn closed his delivery with a joke about Michelle Obama's watermelons and left as the crowd stood and cheered. He remained in the lobby for more than two hours signing copies of his book, Define Conservatism.
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