AP - McLean, VA
Situated in his new office across the hall from a quick-copy shop in suburban McLean, former puppet master Dick Cheney spins his web of deceit with few listeners.
"I'm writing a damn book," Cheney recently bragged to a lone blogger, there to update his readers on the doings of Dastardly Dick, as he affectionately calls him.
"And Obama better watch out. There's bombs and shit coming our way. You mark my words!"
The former power mad vice-president claims a sixth sense for predicting disasters, both political and environmental. "I knew that Katrina was coming. I told my wife, 'Honey, a big motherfucking hurricane is going to take out most of New Orleans.' She looked worried until I said, "...just the Black parts.' But let me tell you, I knew I was going to shoot my buddy in the face long before I did it. These things just come to me."
Asked for specific dangers ahead for the United States, Cheney was forthcoming. "I see nuclear fuckbombs going off in New York and Los Angeles. And I can't wait for that fucking crisis. Those pansy-assed pussies in Washington will pray for me to come back to lead them again. That's for shit-sure."
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