AP - New York
Complaints are now coming in from the survivors of the Miracle on the Hudson, where US Airways flight 1548 hit a flock of geese and was valiantly steered into a water landing, or "ditching" on the Hudson River.
Captain Chesley Sullenburger has been declared a hero for his skills in bringing the plane down without engine power into the frigid waters off Manhattan. No loss of life occurred in the event, which is unprecedented. Passengers were deplaned in an orderly fashion through the exits onto door slides turned rafts, until nearby boats and ferries rescued them without difficulty.
US Airways has issued $5000 checks to the fortunate travelers for lost luggage and instated them as VIP Frequent Flyers for one year.
"Not good enough!" says Janie McKracken, spokesperson for the survivors, "We want money. Lots and lots of money. News interviews don't pay the bills, baby. And an upgrade for a year? Fuck that."
Representatives for the airline refuse to speak publicly about the survivors demands but, an anonymous source who works for US Airways claimed, "Really? They expect to be paid for us saving their asses? You gotta love America."
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