Beast to Palin, "Please, stop killing us."

   AP - In a hastily arranged meeting with a representative from the animal kingdom, Gov. Sarah Palin addressed issues of the environment and wildlife habitat.

   "What did we ever do to you?" was the first question addressed to the governor by the animal's Ambassador, known simply as "The Beast".

   Palin smiled and nodded giving no direct reply, but turning to an aide, was heard to whisper, "I'll need an eight by ten tarp and the sharpest skinning knife you can find."

Gov. Palin then steered the discussion to be more of a standard stump speech, referring again to the severed left forelegs of wolves and the bounty she pays to hunters.

   The meeting came to an abrupt close and reporters were cleared from the room. 

   Moments later, when what sounded like gunfire was heard from behind the closed door, the governor's aide appeared to assure the gathered reporters that the governor's rifle had accidently mis-fired while she was cleaning it. The aide then distributed, at the governor's request, the Department of Fish and Wildlife pamphlet on Gun Cleaning and Safety Rules.

"See, even she has trouble sometimes." the aide announced before returning to the governor's office.

Policywanker Goes to AK - So you don't have to. Part I

In my ongoing efforts to find out what the fuck is up with Alaska and the Governess Palin... I travelled to the Frozen State. 

There, I discovered that Gov. Sarah "I brake for Jesus" Palin is worshipped as a Nature Sprite/Demi-Goddess, capable of granting wishes and lubricating a chassis in sub-zero temps.

She is often seen in nature at dawn, the sunlight glistening on her porcelain skin, killing shit.

In an attempt to witness first-hand this awesome spectacle, Policywanker went to Alaska in hopes of experiencing the Palin Phenomenon up close. But first, I had to acclimate myself to the local habits.

I got a gun. And I shot it. It was really, really loud. Nothing died, but I felt something akin to power. And I wet myself a little.