AP - Washington DC
In a fantastical move to ram through legislation that allows interstate transport of concealed weapons, NRA lobbyists have hopped into bed with Gay rights activists. Senate Republicans are attempting to add a rider to the proposed anti-hate crimes legislation designed to protect homosexual citizens from gay-bashing.
According to an anonymous Senate aide, adding expanded gun toting rights to the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act makes sense because "those gay guys need guns to protect themselves from the... ummm... the other guys with guns."
The controversial rider has found support by at least two gay organizations, GOProud and Pink Pistols.
"Armed Gays Don't Get Bashed" reads the online slogan for Pink Pistols (www.pinkpistols.org). Spokesperson for the group, Gwen Patton adds, "Armed Gays also get better restaurant service and cuts in the grocery store line. It's really just a matter of self-preservation."
Critics of the legislation argue it only makes our violent society more violent. Misty Prager, of the organization Peace Through Peaceful Non-Angry Peaceful Actions, fears the worst for Hetero-Homo relations if laws like this are passed. "Picture this... Gunfight at the OK Disco... I rest my case. God loves you."
Whether or not NRA lobbyists are successful in their efforts to tag the rider onto the bill, GOProud executive director Jimmy LaSilva predicts a new era in Gay resistance to violent homophobia. Patting a suspicious bulge under his jacket he grinned, while issuing the challenge, "Go ahead, call me a skinny fag... a I double-dog dare ya!"
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