Saturday, April 11, 2009

Blame Jack Sparrow for Somali Pirates


POLICYWANKER SOAPBOX

   OK, is it me - or does the media get a hard-on every time they print the word "Pirate"?
   And we all share in a collective  "Aarrrr..." with a grin and a wink. Cuz we're in on it, right?
   Pirates are cool. Pirates are outlaws. Pirates are bad, but hot. 
   But wait a Buccaneering minute here -  now we have these Somali pirates. Ugly as fuck peasants with assault weapons. Where's the romance? Where's the mascara? Where's the box office?
   It's just not the same swashbuckling romp as we want, cuz where's the sex? Where's Johnny Fucking Depp?
   No. The Somali Pirates are merely your run-of-the mill dollar store terrorists. Thugs with boats. So, let's call a spade a spade (insert liberal kneejerk here) and name them what they are - oppressed and impoverished criminals willing to die to get their hands on some of that good pie everyone else seems to have plenty of... 
   Are they worth global media coverage? Are they lead story material?
   Someone get them a reality show... STAT!

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