Ghost of Dead Oscar Mayer Crashes Weinermobile

AP - Racine

   Wiener mogul Oscar Mayer died recently at the age of 95. And apparently, he's not happy about it. Strange occurrences have been reported around the wiener factory and now, the famous Wienermobile.

   Yesterday, Sally Blodsky, who drives the trademarked hot dog vehicle, lost control of it mid-turn and crashed into the Racine home of Nick Krupp. "I heard this old man's voice," Blodsky told police on the scene. "He was just screaming at me, you know, bossing me...'Turn here! Turn there! You're going too fast!' ...like some damn backseat driver. I just lost it!"

   In the Oscar Mayer plant, workers claim to have seen a ghostlike figure hovering over the rendering vats. "It's the old man, all right," said longtime fat renderer Willie Sandinski. "He was a real S.O.B. always chewing my ass for nuthin'. Now he's dead, so screw him. I think they put him in the grinder."

   "Where's the body?" shouted casings technician Tina Wiesnewsky over the roar of the sausage stuffer, " That's what I want to know. The old man lived for this company. I heard it's in his will somewheres - Put me in the meat, he says... that's what I heard, anyways."

   No injuries were reported in the Wienermobile mishap. But police investigators are unable to explain the strange voices heard by the driver. Wisconsin Sheriff Deputy Danny Nodnick thinks there could be more to the story. "This may not be a simple case of dog bites house."