AP - Vatican City
Taking time out from his busy holiday shopping, flamboyantly dressed King of the Catholics and practicing Nazi, Pope Benedict has issued his Christmas message of peace to the College of Cardinals.
"How about those gays!" the pontiff admonished the gathered clergy, "They are like the rainforests, the lungs of the planet, you know... hot, sweaty lungs with their muscles all glistening."
His message, however, seemed to confuse some in the audience. Cardinal Botti of Italy confessed his wonderment, "I think what il Papa is saying is that the sexy men who do the sex are in danger of extinction. We must save them, no?"
The pope's constant attention on gay men and gay sex in his speeches and sermons left others to think he was obsessing. Sister Mary Catherine Gallagher of Dublin, who comes to the Vatican annually for holiday mass, said that the Holy Father "was a bit of a closet case, all the time it's the gays this and the gays that - Jesus, Mary and Joseph - he should just get a grip and come out."
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